btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Randomize
