If that was your dad, he is hot
Soap is not a condiment
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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