just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
Randomize
