I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
Randomize
