I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Randomize
