We're like a lot better than the average bears
whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
