Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
