You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
