I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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