Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
Randomize
