I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
Randomize
