I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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