Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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