your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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