It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
Randomize
