i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize
