try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
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