it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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