similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
Randomize
