Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
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