Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
whose parrot is this?
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
Randomize
