don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
Randomize
