My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
