omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
Randomize
