He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
I'm sorry my penis didn't work
youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
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