Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
How many fucks given?
0.12846
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
Randomize
