I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Randomize
