I hate all girls vehemently.
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
You made out with two different species that night
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
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