She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
Can vaginas get frostbite?
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
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