Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
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