Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
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