Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
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