dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
I feel like a drive thru vagina
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
