omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
I think I just shit out all my problems.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
Randomize
