you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
I need to align my fucking chakras
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Randomize
