How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
