GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
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