Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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