So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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