I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
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