sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
Randomize
