Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
