Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
