he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
Randomize
