we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
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