You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
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