Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
