i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
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