Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
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