Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
I cut my penus on the lid.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
pray to the hookup gods
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Randomize
