i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
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