just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
as a side note pls kill me
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
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