Buhtt sex?
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
Randomize
