East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Randomize
