I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Randomize
