Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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