peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
Randomize
