She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Randomize
