he shaved USA in his pubs
Best friends brother. Beat that.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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