just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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